Posts tagged validation
Struggling with Gender Identity, Sexuality, and Duality

Growing up as a tomboy is difficult. Coming out and coming to terms with my sexuality in my teens was more difficult. Fighting the urge to conform to societal standards and finding confidence to be myself was beyond difficult. In the battle to choose between male and female, I was losing myself. It took time, a number of unfortunate situations, and a hair cut to help me figure out exactly who I was meant to be in this world.

Read More
I Fell Off the Vulnerability Wagon

I hid behind perfectionism in order to not be seen. My particular brand of perfectionism was made up of self-righteous overachievement combined with a healthy dose of internal shame and contempt. Flawless and selfless on the outside, and indignant and sad on the inside. I found a way out through the practice of vulnerability…and then I fell off the vulnerability wagon.  

Read More
Something Needed to End, So That I Could Begin Again

I stayed in an abusive relationship for too long, and slowly became a shadow of the woman I wanted to be. When I finally began to focus on building myself back up, people were unhappy with the new me. The truth is, it was never a new me, it was the me who was buried so I could make other people feel more comfortable.

Read More
When Feeling Seen Doesn't Translate to Being Liked

In the middle of my talk in front of 300 high school girls, I noticed a man in the audience staring at me with disdain. Despite the fact that the audience was engaged - laughing, nodding, ferociously taking notes - I couldn’t stop being distracted by this man. Was this the price of being seen? We are all struggling to feel seen, but what if people don’t like what they see?

Read More